Performed by Adam Sandler, Frank, and RandiTranscribed by a fan"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"[Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]Cow: Moo"And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"[Plane sounds]M1: Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down, quit being a pansy and do itCow: Moo[Ripcord sounds]Cow: Moo,mrr[Parachute opens]Cow: Moow[Thud]"And now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"[Cow opening paper bag]Cow: Moo,moo[Car screeches, and turns back around]Cow: Mrr"And now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break and then realises he can't swim"[Cow walking towards pool, big splash]Cow: Moo[Crowd cheering]Cow: Mrr,mrr[Underwater moo]"And now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"Ohh baby you like it when I dance with youCow: MooUh uh uh, you can't touch thatCow: MooBouncer: Keep your hands off the girlCow: MooBouncer: Hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leaveCow: MooM2: Hey watch it cow"And now a cow playing tennis against farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"[Tennis ball being hit]Farmer: That was outCow: MooFarmer: Don't tell me it wasn't cause I saw it and that was outCow: MooFarmer: By at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's outCow: MooFarmer: Don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was outCow: MrrFarmer: You cannot see from that angleCow: Moo"And now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"[Phone rings, cow picks it up]Farmer: Hello may I speak to the cowCow: MooFarmer: Hi, I'm a famous actorCow: MooFarmer: Oh, thank you very much, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with meCow: MooFarmer: Why don't I make reservations?Cow: MooFarmer: And why don't I tell you my real name? farmer Stinky Thumbs ArbuckleCow: MrrFarmer: Take that fattyCow: Mrr[Slams down phone]"And now a cow gets his revenge on farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle"[Car sounds]Farmer: Pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, I am warning you for the last time.[Car hits farmer]Farmer: Oooh
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"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch"
[Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]
Cow: Moo
"And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground"
[Plane sounds]
M1: Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down, quit being a pansy and do it
Cow: Moo
[Ripcord sounds]
Cow: Moo,mrr
[Parachute opens]
Cow: Moow
[Thud]
"And now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drivethru and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries"
[Cow opening paper bag]
Cow: Moo,moo
[Car screeches, and turns back around]
Cow: Mrr
"And now a cow winning first prise in the bellyflop contest at spring break and then realises he can't swim"
[Cow walking towards pool, big splash]
Cow: Moo
[Crowd cheering]
Cow: Mrr,mrr
[Underwater moo]
"And now a club gets a dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on"
Ohh baby you like it when I dance with you
Cow: Moo
Uh uh uh, you can't touch that
Cow: Moo
Bouncer: Keep your hands off the girl
Cow: Moo
Bouncer: Hey cow, you got no shoes on you gotta leave
Cow: Moo
M2: Hey watch it cow
"And now a cow playing tennis against farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle when the farmer makes an obvious bad call"
[Tennis ball being hit]
Farmer: That was out
Cow: Moo
Farmer: Don't tell me it wasn't cause I saw it and that was out
Cow: Moo
Farmer: By at least 3 feet that's how far, come in look there is still a mark where it's out
Cow: Moo
Farmer: Don't tell that was from an old ball, that was this ball and this ball was out
Cow: Mrr
Farmer: You cannot see from that angle
Cow: Moo
"And now a cow recieves a phone call who he thinks is from a famous actor but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke"
[Phone rings, cow picks it up]
Farmer: Hello may I speak to the cow
Cow: Moo
Farmer: Hi, I'm a famous actor
Cow: Moo
Farmer: Oh, thank you very much, I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me
Cow: Moo
Farmer: Why don't I make reservations?
Cow: Moo
Farmer: And why don't I tell you my real name? farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle
Cow: Mrr
Farmer: Take that fatty
Cow: Mrr
[Slams down phone]
"And now a cow gets his revenge on farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle"
[Car sounds]
Farmer: Pull over, pull the vehicle to the side of the road, I am warning you for the last time.
[Car hits farmer]
Farmer: Oooh
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