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Maybe Man
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feelYou'd yell in my face, it'd be no big dealBut I'd miss the way we make up and smileDon't want to be stone, I changed my mindI wish I had eyes in the back of my headThen I could see the places I've beenBut then I would know that you're talkin' shitI don't want to know what my friends thinkWish I were my dog out on the lawnI'd be so glad when I hear you come homeBut if I were my dog, I wouldn't live longI'm sure gonna miss her when she's goneI wish I could act in a show on TV'Cause then I could practice not bein' meI'll practice my cry, put it into my reelBut you won't believe me when I cry for realI wish that my brain would triple in sizeI'd nail every joke, I'd win every fightBut I'd get too deep with that kind of mindI don't wanna know the point of lifeIn some other life I would be richI'd travel in style, I'd cover the billBut couldn't complain 'bout anything smallNobody'd feel bad for me at allIf I was cocaine or a bottle of JackI'd get invited to every fratBut when you get old and your good days have passedYou'll only want me when you're sadWish I was a song, your favorite oneYou'd follow the dance to me at your promI would be there when your baby is bornFor two or three minutes, then I'm goneI wish I was big, as big as my houseI'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowdBut I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couchGod, I could really use him nowI wish I was God, I'd never trip upAnd if I did, well, so fuckin' what?I could be cruel and break all your stuffYeah, I'd be loved no matter whatBut if I was God, it'd get kinda weird'Cause you would only say what I wanna hearAnd then you would die, you'd love me to deathI'd never know who the hell I amI wish I was me, whoever that isI could just be and not give a shitHey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan'Cause I don't know who the hell I amOne, two, pandemonium!One, two, pandemonium!Here I go againOne, two, pandemonium!Here I go againOne, two, pandemonium!One, two—Here I go again
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