Fatty McGee

Performed by Adam Sandler, David Spade, Tim Herlihy, Steve Koren, and Tim Meadows

[Typical library sounds, squeekin chairs/doors]

[Talking quietly]
M1: "Ms. Murphy is such a pain, man."
M2: "We just had a test a week ago. Now we gotta take another one tommorrow. This sucks!"
M1: "And it counts for 80 percent of our grade."
M2: "Well we better study our butts off."
M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library."
M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!"
M1: "All right."
[Turning pages]

[Heavy steps]
M1: "Oh no! Fatty McGee is coming. We'll never get any studying done with him in the library."
[Heavy steps continue]
M2: "Oh god, he's taking the stairs! That means he's going to be way out of breath!"

[Fatty whining, try to catch breath]
M1: "Oh no, he's going to sit with us."
Fatty: [Annoying whining voice] "Hey fellas, studying for the big test?"
M1: "Uh, yes Fatty, we were."
Fatty: [Still trying to catch breath] "Great! I'll join ya."
[Fatty pulls out chair and falls into it, still whining horribly]
M2: "Hey Fatty, why don't you go to the bathroom 'till you catch your breath?"
Fatty: "No, no, I'm catching it!"
[Fatty continuing to whine and snort]
M1: "Ok, ok Fatty, but try to keep the wheezing level down, we're trying to concentrate."
Fatty: [Continuing to wheeze and whine louder] "Sure, no problem."
M1: "Oh man."
Fatty: [Still snorting and whining loudly] "This test counts for eighty percent of our grade, you know."
[Whining continues even louder]
M1: "Yes Fatty, we know, we just said that."
[Wheezing continues a little softer]
M2: "Fatty! Please keep it down!"

[Fatty makes snoring/whining sounds]

M2: "Is he sleeping!?"
M1: "No, it's his deviated sceptum. Seriously Fatty, keep the breathing down." [Snoring stops, more weird noise starts]
M2: "Ahh geez Fatty, what's wrong with you!?"
Fatty: [Pausing, snorting] "I'm trying."
[Whining continues]
M1: "Fatty, you know what's going to happen! Stop breathing so heavy! Please we gotta study!"
[Whining gets higher and higher until it's continuous]
M2: "Oh no, that one's going to do it!"

[Fire alarm sounding, fire trucks honking their horns, sirens reeling]
M2: "Fatty, the fire department thinks the fire alarm went off again!"
Fatty: [Continuing his LOUD annoying whine] "I'm sorry!"
Fireman Ray: "Fire! Man the building!"
M1: "Sorry Fireman Ray, it's not the fire alarm."
Fireman Ray: "Fatty McGee, is that you again!?"
Fatty: [Stillin whining annoyingly] "Yes." [Snort] "Sorry." [Snort]
Fireman Ray: "Didn't we tell you not to take the stairs anymore!?"
Fatty: [Whiney voice] "But I like the stairs!"
Fireman Ray: [annoyed] "Why!?"
Fatty: [Still whining horribly] "They're fun!"
Fireman Ray: "Oh Fatty McGee, you're the fattest!"
[Everyone laughing at stupid joke]