Your Congratulations

I wouldn't have compromised as much.
So much of myself for fear of having you hating me.
I would've sung so loudly,
It would've cracked myself.

I became so self-conscious of anything exuberant.
I wouldn't have sold myself short.
I wouldn't have kept my eyes glued to the ground.

If I had've known my invisibility would not make a difference,
I would've run around screaming proudly at the top of my voice.
I wouldn't have said it was in fact luck,
I'm talking idealism here.

I would not have been so self-deprecating,
I wouldn't have cowered for fear of having my eyes scratched out.
I wouldn't have cut my comfort off.
I wouldn't have feigned needlessness.
I would not have discredited every one of their compliments.

It was your approval I wanted.
Your congratulations.