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Whore! Where Are You?!

Adam Sandler

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Whore! Where Are You?!

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Whore! You get out here! You hear me? You get your whore ass out here!Whore?! I don't need this today, whore! Do not defy me, whore! Show meyour whore face or your really gonna be in for it! Alright, that's it, whore!I'm coming after you! I'm tired of your whore bullshit! Are you in... the...bedroom? Whore? No! Not in the bedroom... I bet the whore is in... theguest room... No whore! Maybe there's a whore under the guest bed...?What?! No whore again! Well, then, where the fuck is the whore?! Whore!You meet me in the living room! I'm not fuckin around anymore, whore!I'm counting to three! One... Two........ Where the fuck are you!? Bitchwhore! That's it! Three!... Whore, whatever I did, I'm sorry... I take it allback, whore... Come on, whore, I'll take the swing dance class with you...I was in a bad mood when you asked!(doorbell rings)Now what? Yes?How you doin?Fine, can I help you?I have a FedEx here for Miss.... Carochy?Oh, I don't think she's here right now...Alright, well, you wanna sign for it?Ah, definitely... uh.. uh, what do I do?What do you do? Ah... you write your name right here...I'm not used to signin for stuff... the whore usually takes care of all thatkind of bullshit...I see... well...I don't know where she is! Ya know, it's not like the whore disappearedwithout leavin a note like that...Uh... I'm not sure who you're talkin about...That's no biggie... But, hey, if you do see the whore, you tell to comehome, she'll get what's coming to her...Okay...Hey, you have a good one, huh?Yeah, you tooSure...(door closes)Fuckin FedEx... Who's mailing shit to the whore? That's what I wannaknow... God damn whore gettin overnight mail... I'm not gonna open it...I don't want the whore callin me a snoop or sum shit...(pours drink and sips)(throws glass and breaks)WHERE ARE YOU?! WHORE?!(door opens and closes)Hi babe!Where the hell were you, whore?! I was freaking out over here!I went to the bank... I saw Carol and we had coffeeUh.. Wha? Oh! How is Carol?She's okay... she's dealing with a lot of crap right now with the divorce...That's the tough... thing... You would never want to divorce me,right, whore?No! And would you stop calling me whore? It was fun last night, let's justkeep it in the bedroomYes! I mean, sorry about that, Tina... Oh! I got a FedEx for you! I signedfor it and everything!Oh, thanks... Just leave it over there, I'll open it later...Definitely! You open it whenever you want! It's your FedEx!Oh, one more thing... I forgot to pick up sum diet soda for the girls, they'recoming over later... Could you go to the store for me now?No problem, TinaThanks, sweetie... I'm gonna go take a shower...Really! Cause... uh... maybe I could come take shower with you...?No... no... They're gonna be here soonAlright...Sum other time, though, okay?Next time's good... I'll go get the soda, Tina... See you in a bit, huh?Okay, bye! Don't take too longOkay, bye bye...(door opens and closes)(whistling)(bird chirps)Look at that bird... Stupid bird, get your ass out of here! Fucking whorebird just shit on me! God damn whore bird! You'll get yours! Now I needa tissue! He fucking shit on me! He's the one who should get a tissue!Bitch!

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