This is a story about a lonely, lonely manHe lived in a lonely house, on a lonely streetIn a lonely part of the world but of courseHe had the internet, the internet, as you knowWas his friend, you could say his best friendThey would play with eachother everydayWatching videos of humans doing all sorts of thingsHaving sex with eachotherInforming people on what was wrong with them in their lifePlaying games with young children at home with their parentsOne day the manwhose name was @snowflakesmasher86 turned to his friend the internetAnd he said, "internet, do you love me? "The internet looked at him and said, "yes, I love you very, very, very, very much. I am your best friendin fact I love you so muchthat I never ever want us to be apart ever again""I would like that" said the manAnd so they embarked on a life togetherWherever the man went he took his friendThe man and the internet went everywhere togetherExcept of course the places where the internet could not goThey went to the countrysidethey went to birthday parties of the childrenof some of his less important friendsdifferent countries, even the moonWhen the man got sadHis friend had so many clever ways to make him feel betterHe would get him cooked animalsAnd show him the people having sex againAnd he would always always agree with himThis one was the man's favouriteand it made him very happyThe man trusted his friend so much"I feel like I could tell you anything"he said on a particularly lonely day"You can, you can tell me anythingI'm your best friend, anything you say to mewill stay strictly between you and the internet"And so he did, the man shared everything with his friendAll of his fears and desiresAll of his loves, past and presentAll of the places he had been and was goingAnd pictures of his penisHe would tell himself, "man does not live by bread alone"And then he died in his lonely house, on the lonely streetIn that lonely part of the worldYou can go on his Facebook
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This is a story about a lonely, lonely man
He lived in a lonely house, on a lonely street
In a lonely part of the world but of course
He had the internet, the internet, as you know
Was his friend, you could say his best friend
They would play with eachother everyday
Watching videos of humans doing all sorts of things
Having sex with eachother
Informing people on what was wrong with them in their life
Playing games with young children at home with their parents
One day the man
whose name was @snowflakesmasher86 turned to his friend the internet
And he said, "internet, do you love me? "
The internet looked at him and said, "yes, I love you very, very, very, very much. I am your best friend
in fact I love you so much
that I never ever want us to be apart ever again"
"I would like that" said the man
And so they embarked on a life together
Wherever the man went he took his friend
The man and the internet went everywhere together
Except of course the places where the internet could not go
They went to the countryside
they went to birthday parties of the children
of some of his less important friends
different countries, even the moon
When the man got sad
His friend had so many clever ways to make him feel better
He would get him cooked animals
And show him the people having sex again
And he would always always agree with him
This one was the man's favourite
and it made him very happy
The man trusted his friend so much
"I feel like I could tell you anything"
he said on a particularly lonely day
"You can, you can tell me anything
I'm your best friend, anything you say to me
will stay strictly between you and the internet"
And so he did, the man shared everything with his friend
All of his fears and desires
All of his loves, past and present
All of the places he had been and was going
And pictures of his penis
He would tell himself, "man does not live by bread alone"
And then he died in his lonely house, on the lonely street
In that lonely part of the world
You can go on his Facebook
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