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U like the food here?(Yeah)Good, huh?(It's alright)Try the canolli, it's fabulous(I'm kinda full, alright)MmmU gonna eat that meatball there?U, U just gonna let it...Maybe girl made some food out hereHere, give it 2 meU're not gonna eat it(At least not now)Mmm, let's see what I can get up here 2 grease onMmm, yeahBest meatball in the cityWhat are U doin' there?Hmm, this might work(Give it 2 me, I'll eat it)Lemme see, mmmSo tell me, U like broads?(They're alright, I...)YepBoy, have I got a broad story 4 UYeah, some corn, yeah(Jesus)Let's see, uhI'm on a date with this broad, right?Lets' see, stove top directions, uhI bring her here(Here?)Yeah, right hereI thought I'd put some food in her bellyEmpty contents into small sauce pan, hmmU know, get a little curve in her slopeU know what I'm sayin?(Slope?)Right...Now let me go see if I can find one of these muthafuckers, hmm(Oh, gosh)So I'm like "Go ahead toots, order what U like, it's on me"Make her think I'm a big shot, U knowI said "So order, order somethin' 4 me 2I'm gonna run 2 the little boys roomHmm, shit, that definitely ain't no sauce panI gotta burp the babyMmm, that ain't no sauce panU know what I'm sayin'?"I figured she'd order me somethin' lightLet me see if I can find this shitLike a couple of salads or somethin'Boy, was that a mistake(Why?)I comes back from the bathroomAlright, got it, got itI'm sittin' thereAh, that's coolWaitin' 4 the foodNow, if I can just get this corn openThis broad ordered the whole left side of the menu!OK, let's seeSaid she just wanted 2 nibbleWhere's the damn can opener? Shit!Nibble my assI'll open this muthafuckerI'm hungry!This broad ate every fuckin' thing except the silverwareShit ain't openin'(Come on)I kid U not{phone rings}Shit's gonna open nowI mean, she was a little on the thick side 2 begin withAlright, I got it, mmm hmmU know what I mean?But I figured she'd have the decency 2 pig out when she got homeTalk(Hey brother, what's up?)Not here, right?(Right)I mean U, U ever had a broad do that?Ain't nothin' but a wang(No, not really)Fuckin' pisses U off, am I right?My girl's gone somewhereRight, so I reaches overI... I'm just cookin'I took the fuckin' mashed potatoes and I threw 'em all over that broadHey, hey, what's this?(Now wait a minute)That ain't all though, check this outHmm, let me call U back(What?)The waiter sees what just happenedWhat the...He's gonna be Mr. Macho, rightHe comes over and says"What U do that 4?""I'm sick of the changes U put me through?"(And U said?)I said "What the fuck business is it of yours?I'm payin' 4 these fuckin' potatoes"All U think about is music?"I'll do what the fuck I wanna do with'em!Now bring me a fuckin' finger bowl!""I'm leavin' your NBA no ballin' ass?"(What happened?)What happened?I'll tell U what happenedAin't that a bitch?Here, gimme some of that meatball(Hey, hey, I was gonna eat that)This punk waiter, he think he's the hero type, rightPunkHe throws the finger bowl on my headI kid U notI'm sittin' there, head soakin' wetMashed potatoes in my finger nailsAnd this broad's crackin' upI kid U notShe's rollin' on the carpet, people...Gimme some water there(Hey, hey, get...)People leavin' the restaurantShe's laughin' so hard potatoes are flyin' off her head(U got mad?)Damn right I was mad!I said, "Very funny"(Well, it is kinda funny)And I left her fuckin' ass right thereRollin' in those fuckin' mashed potatoesAnd I left this joint with out payin' a dime(Well, what are U eatin' here now 4 I mean?)That's the killer!I was so mad I bought this joint(But the girl...)Fuckin' right(What happened 2 her, man?)That's her over there, workin' the fuckin' cash register(Naw, her?)U gonna eat this?(That's the mashed potato girl?)Here, gimme this bread(She's, she's great, what do U mean?)Is this the best bread in the city or what?What the fuck's your problem?(Look at her, she's, she's gorgeous)U eat like a fuckin' parakeet(What...)I'm still hungryU hungry?(Naw, naw)Naw, U not hungryU want some bird seed or somethin'?Look here, order me somethin'!(Man, shut up now)I'm gonna run 2 the little boys room
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