Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feelYou'd yell in my face, it'd be no big dealBut I'd miss the way we make up and smileDon't want to be stone, I changed my mindI wish I had eyes in the back of my headThen I could see the places I've beenBut then I would know that you're talkin' shitI don't want to know what my friends thinkWish I were my dog out on the lawnI'd be so glad when I hear you come homeBut if I were my dog, I wouldn't live longI'm sure gonna miss her when she's goneI wish I could act in a show on TV'Cause then I could practice not bein' meI'll practice my cry, put it into my reelBut you won't believe me when I cry for realI wish that my brain would triple in sizeI'd nail every joke, I'd win every fightBut I'd get too deep with that kind of mindI don't wanna know the point of lifeIn some other life I would be richI'd travel in style, I'd cover the billBut couldn't complain 'bout anything smallNobody'd feel bad for me at allIf I was cocaine or a bottle of JackI'd get invited to every fratBut when you get old and your good days have passedYou'll only want me when you're sadWish I was a song, your favorite oneYou'd follow the dance to me at your promI would be there when your baby is bornFor two or three minutes, then I'm goneI wish I was big, as big as my houseI'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowdBut I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couchGod, I could really use him nowI wish I was God, I'd never trip upAnd if I did, well, so fuckin' what?I could be cruel and break all your stuffYeah, I'd be loved no matter whatBut if I was God, it'd get kinda weird'Cause you would only say what I wanna hearAnd then you would die, you'd love me to deathI'd never know who the hell I amI wish I was me, whoever that isI could just be and not give a shitHey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan'Cause I don't know who the hell I amOne, two, pandemonium!One, two, pandemonium!Here I go againOne, two, pandemonium!Here I go againOne, two, pandemonium!One, two—Here I go again
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Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile
Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head
Then I could see the places I've been
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit
I don't want to know what my friends think
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
I wish I could act in a show on TV
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel
But you won't believe me when I cry for real
I wish that my brain would triple in size
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind
I don't wanna know the point of life
In some other life I would be rich
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack
I'd get invited to every frat
But when you get old and your good days have passed
You'll only want me when you're sad
Wish I was a song, your favorite one
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom
I would be there when your baby is born
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
I wish I was big, as big as my house
I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd
But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch
God, I could really use him now
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up
And if I did, well, so fuckin' what?
I could be cruel and break all your stuff
Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird
'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear
And then you would die, you'd love me to death
I'd never know who the hell I am
I wish I was me, whoever that is
I could just be and not give a shit
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
One, two, pandemonium!
One, two, pandemonium!
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium!
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium!
One, two—
Here I go again
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