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I really was born at 9: 29 AM on 9 29You think I'm lyingBut I'm, I'm being dead serious(I gotta see this birth certificate)Okay, I'll prove itWell, who am I? I'm almost 25Can't remember half the time that I've been alive'Cause half was in a cheap apartmentAnd half was on the Eastside (Eastside)They said don't meet your heroesThey're all fuckin' weirdosAnd God knows that they were rightBecause nobody loves you, they just try to fuck youThen put you on a feature on the B-SideAnd who do you call when it's late at night?When the headlines just don't paint the picture rightWhen you look at yourself on a screen and say"Oh my God, there's no way that's me"And I, I quit smoking, well recently, I triedAnd I bought another house, and I never go outsideAnd I remember this girl with pink hair in DetroitWell, she told meShe said, "AshleyYou gotta promise us that you won't die'Cause we need you, " and honestlyI think that she liedAnd I remember the names of every single kid I've metBut I forget half the people who I've gotten in bedAnd I've stared at the sky in MilwaukeeAnd hoped that my father would finally call meAnd it's just these things that I'm thinkin' for hoursAnd I'm pickin' my hair out in clumps in the showerLost the love of my life to an ivory powderBut then I realize that I'm no higher powerThat I wasn't in love then, and I'm still not nowAnd I'm so happy I figured that outI've got a long way to go until self-preservationThink my moral compass is on a vacationAnd I can't believe I still feed my fucking temptationI'm still looking for my salvationSoft and slow, watch the minutes goCount out loudSo we know you don't keep 'em for yourselfWatch the minutes goCount out loudSo we know you don't keep 'em for yourselfI think I have a confession to make, I feel like(So we know you don't)I need to say that I was really born at 9: 26It's on my birth certificate, I'm a liarMan, I'm a fucking liarSoft and slow, watch the minutes goCount out loudSo we know you don't keep 'em for yourself
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