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Auntie Diaries

Kendrick Lamar

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Auntie Diaries

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Heart plays in ways the mind can't figure outHeart plays in ways the mind can't figure outHeart plays in ways the mind can't figure outHeart plays in ways the mind can't figure outThis is how we conceptualize human beingsMy auntie is a man nowI think I'm old enough to understand nowDrinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwardsMotorola pager, Off-White Guess jacketBlue Air Max's, gold chains and curl kits'93 Nissan wax job, the earliestBig social, big personality, vocalPlayed underground verbatim and stayed localMy auntie is a man nowI watch him and his girl hold their hands downTip of the avenues under street lights made hisThinking, "I want me a bad bitch when I get big"They walk the corner like California kingCold hand all up her skirt, cars whistling down the roadSee, my auntie is a man now, slight bravadoScratching the likes from lottoHoping that she pull up tomorrowSo I can hang out in the front seatSix by nines keeping the music up under meMy auntie is a man nowAsked my momma why my uncles don't like him that muchAnd at the parties why they always wanna fight him that muchShe said "Ain't no tellingNiggas always been jealous because he had more womenMore money and more attention made more envyCalling him anything but broke was less offending"My auntie is a man nowI think I'm old enough to understand nowDrinking Paul Masson with her hat turned backwardsBack when it was comedic relief to say "Faggot"Faggot, faggot faggot, we ain't know no betterElementary kids with no filter howeverMy auntie became a man and I took pride in itShe wasn't gay, she ate pussy, and that was the differenceThat's what I told my friends in second gradeShe picking me up from school, they stare at her in the faceThey couldn't comprehend what I grew accustomedWe pull off bumpin' quick like it was nothingMy auntie is a man now, what a relationshipI grew up fast, I needed no one to babysitHe gave me some cash then gave me some gangCherry freshener on the dash, I never complainedShe even cut my hair at the pad, was loving my fadeThe first person I seen write a rapThat's when my life had changedHouse full of demo, smoke stuck on the windowCameras on the microphone, all women and men thoughMy auntie was a man now, we cool with itThe history had trickled down and made us ig'nantMy favorite cousin said he's returning the favorAnd following my auntie with the same behaviorDemetrius is Mary-Ann nowHe's more confident to live his plan nowBut the family in disbelief this timeConvincing themselves "He ain't living discreet, he's fine"They said they never seen it in him, but I seen itThe Barbie dolls played off the reflection of VenusHe built a wall so tall you couldn't climb overHe didn't laugh as hard when the kids start joking"Faggot, faggot, faggot" We ain't know no betterMiddle school kids with no filter, howeverI had to be very mindful of my good cousinI knew exactly who he was but I still loved himDemetrius is Mary-Ann nowI mean he's really Mary-Ann, even took things furtherChanged his gender before Bruce Jenner was certainLiving his truth even if it meant see a surgeonWe didn't talk for a while, he seemed more distantWasn't comfortable around me, everything was offensiveBut I recall we both had a sick sense of humorMade raw, but time changes allDemetrius is Mary-Ann nowRemember church, Easter Sunday?I sat in the pew, you had stronger faithMore spiritual when these dudes were living life straightWhich I found ironic 'cause the pastor didn't see him the sameHe said my cousin was going through some thingsHe promised the world we living in was an act on abominationAnd Demetrius was to blameI knew you was conflicted by the feelings a preacher madeWondering if God still call you a decent manStill you found the courage to be subservient just to anointUntil he singled you out to prove his point, sayingDemetrius is Mary-Ann nowChurch, his auntie is a man now, it hurtHe the most 'cause his belief was close to his wordsForcing me to stand nowI said "Mr. Preacher man, should we love thy neighbor?The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater?I recognize the study she was taught since birthBut that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved"The building was thinking out loud, bad angelThat's when you looked at me and smiled, said "Thank you"The day I chose humanity over religionThe family got closer, it was all forgivenI said them F-bombs, I ain't know any betterMistakenly I didn't think you'd know any differentSee, I was taught words was nothing more than a soundIf everything was pronounced without any intentionsThe very second you challenge the shit I was kickingReminded me about a show I did out the cityThat time I brung a fan on stage to rapBut disapproved the word that she couldn't say with meYou said "Kendrick, ain't no room for contradictionTo truly understand love, switch position'Faggot, faggot, faggot, ' we can say it togetherBut only if you let a white girl say 'Nigga'"
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