A fine romance, with no kissesA fine romance, my friend this isWe should be like a couple of hot tomatoesBut you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoesA fine romance, you won't nestleA fine romance, you won't wrestleI might as well play bridgeWith my old maid auntI haven't got a chanceThis is a fine romanceA fine romance, my good fellowYou take romance, I'll take jelloYou're calmer than the sealsIn the Arctic OceanAt least they flap their finsTo express emotionA fine romance with no quarrelsWith no insults and all moralsI've never mussed the creaseIn your blue serge pantsI never get the chanceThis is a fine romance
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A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you won't nestle
A fine romance, you won't wrestle
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunt
I haven't got a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, I'll take jello
You're calmer than the seals
In the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I've never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance
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