LYRICS
Use A− / A+ to adjust text sizeThe Amazing Willy Wanker
When I was just a little wee ladI hopped on the lap of my dear old dadSomething jumped and poked me good'That' he said 'just me morning wood'A little tin soldier's marchin bySergeant major unzips his flyPulls his weapon from his camouflage pantsSlaps away til it starts to danceA shootin star's above my bedChangin colors of my mushroom headA rainbow jizz flys across the roomLittle white spermies meet their doom(Ah!) The amazing Willy Wanker!(Aaaah!) The amazing Willy Wanker!And my scrotum sack he saysLalalalalala, tickle me!Little green men from outer spaceHere to exterminate the human raceDrop their ray guns and retreat to their shipsWhen marshmallow sauce squirts from me tipLike a knight of olden CamelotThe goo takes off like an arrow shotGwynevere drops to her knees and begsFor the spittin dragon between me legsI'm using my thing for what it's forGentle knock upon me doorMumsy drops her cup of teaWhen she sees my wank standing tall and free(Ah!) The one and only Willy Wanker!(Aaaaah!) Here comes Willy Wanker!And my marble sack he saysLalalalalala, tickle me!Rasberry scones and marmalade!Squeezing my squid in the evening shine!Visions of mermaids in the sky!Shooting my load in me own left eye!Gramps was a hero in the first World WarBut he ain't got no dick no moreComes home smokin from the corner pubMakes poor old Gramsy kiss his nubThe world spins around like a big bass drumNanny pops a pinkie in the generals bumThe Irish dance and the Scotsmem howlTime to clean up with the washroom towel(Ah, yeah!) It's only Willy Wanker, yeah!(Ah!) The lonely Willy Wanker!And my wrinkled sack he saysLalalalalala, tickle me!
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