LYRICS
Use A− / A+ to adjust text sizeThank God for Girls
The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hairIs making a cannoli for youTo take on your hiking trip in the woodsWith your bros that you've known since second gradeAnd you may encounter dragons and ruffiansAnd be called upon to employ your testosteroneIn a battle for supremacy and access to femalesGlued to the tvAnd even if you are victoriousYou may receive many cuts, bruises, and scrapesAnd you will require band-aids and antiseptic ointmentsAnd tender love and kisses on your stab woundsAnd when you come home, she will be thereWaiting for you with a fire in her eyesAnd a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouthAnd that's why youThank god for girlsHalle jesu christeFrom tennessee to laThank god for girlsOn your reckoning dayYou better bow down and prayShe's so bigShe's so strongShe's so energetic in her sweaty overallsThank god for girls(thank god for girls)Thank god for girls(thank god for girls)I'm so glad I got a girl to think ofEven though she isn't mineI think about her all the day and all the nightIt's enough to know that she's aliveShe says I give her sweaty palmsShe almost had a heart attackThe truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to actI wish that I could get to know her betterBut meeting up in real life'll cause the illusion to shatterI carved her name into all the treesI sang a song down on one kneeLooking at the underwear page in the sears catalogLike when I was 14I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way aroundI'm like an indian fakir trying to meditateOn a bed of nails with my pants pulled down(chorus)Thank god for girlsHalle jesu christeFrom tennessee to laThank god for girlsOn your reckoning dayYou better bow down and prayshe's so bigshe's so strongshe's so energetic in her sweaty overallsThank god for girls(thank god for girls)Thank god for girls(thank god for girls)God took a rib from adamGround it up in a centrifuge machineMixed it with cardamom and clovesMicrowaved it on the popcorn settingWhile adam was like" (woo-hoo) that really hurt!(going off into the tundra)So pissed at godAnd he started lighting mighty forest firesStealing osprey eggsMessing with the bees who were trying to pollinateThe echinaceaUntil god said"I'ma smite you with lonelinessAnd break your heart in two"And adam wept and wailedTearing out his hairFalling on his knees, looked to the sky and said"thank god"
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