LYRICS
Use A− / A+ to adjust text sizeMother I Sober (feat. Beth Gibbons)
I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybodyOne man standin' on two words, heal everybodyTransformation, then reciprocation, karma must returnHeal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these wordsDeath threats, ego must die, but I let it purgePacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blurMother cried, put they hands on her, it was family tiesI heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only fiveI still feel it weighin' on my heart, my first tough decisionIn the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only criticWhere's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not todayI transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taken shapeMy mother's mother followed me for years in her afterlifeStarin' at me on back of some buses, I wake up at nightLoved her dearly, traded in my tears for a Range RoverTransformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it soberI wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfOoh, I wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfI remember lookin' in the mirror knowin' I was giftedOnly child, me for seven years, everything for ChristmasFamily ties, they accused my cousin"Did he touch you Kendrick? "Never lied, but no one believed me when I said "He didn't"Frozen moments, still holdin' on it, hard to trust myselfI started rhymin', copin' mechanisms to lift up myselfTalked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myselfHe has an aura, I hope to achieve, if I find some helpCongratulations, made it to be famous, still I feel uneasyWater watchin', live my life in nature, only thing relieves meSpirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me"Did he touch you? " I said "No" againstill they didn't believe meMother's brother said he got revenge for my mother's faceBlack and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase'Til this day can't look her in the eyes pain is takin' overBlame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it soberI wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfOoh, I wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfI was never high, I was never drunk, never out my mindI need control, they handed me some smokebut still I declinedI did it sober sittin' with myself, I went through all emotionsNo dependents, except for the one, let me bring you closerIntoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mentionInsecurities that I project, sleepin' with other womenWhitney's hurt, the pure soul I knowI found her in the kitchenAskin' God "Where did I lose myself?And can it be forgiven? "Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes"Is there an addiction? "I said "No", but this time I lied, I knew that I can't fix itPure soul, even in her pain, know she cared for meGave me a number, said she recommended some therapyI asked my momma why she didn't believe mewhen I told her "No"I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympatheticTold me that she feared it happened to me, for my protectionThough it never happened, she wouldn't agreeNow I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfacedAmplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervousI was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many yearsNothing's wrong, just resultson how them questions made me feelI made it home, seven years on tour, chasin' manhoodBut Whitney's gone, by time you hear this songshe did all she couldAll these women gave me super powerswhat I thought I lackedI pray our children don't inherit me and feelingsI attract a conversation, not bein' addressed in black familiesThe devastation hauntin' generations and humanityThey raped our mothers, then they raped our sistersThen they made us watch, then made us rape each otherPsychotic torture between our lives we ain't recoveredStill livin' as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegianceEvery other brother has been compromisedI know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abusedI see 'em daily buryin' they pain in chains and tattoosSo listen close before you start to pass judgementon how we moveLearn how we copewhenever his uncle had to walk him from schoolHis anger grows deep in misogynyThis is post-traumatic black families and a sodomytoday is still activeSo I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I madeSo I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shameSo I set free my cousin, chaotic for my mothers painI hope Hykeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vainSo I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us allSo I set free our children, may good karmakeep them with GodSo I set free the hearts filled with hatredkeep our bodies sacredAs I set free all you abusers, this is transformationI wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfOoh, I wish I was somebodyAnybody but myselfYou did it, I'm proud of youYou broke a generational curseSay "Thank you dad"Thank you daddy, thank you mommy, thank you brotherMr. MoraleBefore I go in fast asleep, love me for meI bare my soul and now we're free
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