LYRICS
Use A− / A+ to adjust text sizeAmish Paradise
Verse 1:As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grainI take a look at my wife and realize she's very plainBut that's just perfect for an Amish like meYou know I shun fancy things like electricityAt 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cowsJebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows foolAnd I've been milkin' and plowin' so long thatEven Ezekiel thinks that my mind is goneI'm a man of the land, I'm into disciplineGot a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chinBut if I finish all of my chores and you finish thineThen tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699Chorus 1:We been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradiseI've churned butter once or twice living in an Amish paradiseIt's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradiseWe sell quilts at discount price living in an Amish paradiseVerse 2:A local boy kicked me in the butt last weekI just smiled at him and I turned the other cheekI really don't care, in fact I wish him well'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in HellBut I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved itAn Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard ofI never wear buttons but I got a cool hatAnd my homies agree I really look good in black foolIf you come to visit, you'll be bored to tearsWe haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 yearsBut we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stareWe're just technologically impairedBridge:There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar not a single luxuryLike Robinson Caruso it's as primitive as can beChorus 2:We been spending most our lives living in an Amish ParadiseWe're just plain and simple guys living in an Amish ParadiseThere's no time for sin and vice living in an Amish ParadiseWe don't fight, we all play nice living in an Amish ParadiseVerse 3:Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butterRaised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an 'utterThink you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?Well, I know I'm a million time as humble as thou artI'm the pious guy the little Amlettes want to be likeOn my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlifeSo don't be vain and don't be whinyOr else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinieChorus 3:We been spending most our lives living in an Amish ParadiseWe're all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish ParadiseThere's no cops or traffic lights living in an Amish ParadiseBut you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish ParadiseOutro:Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhAhh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
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