LYRICS
Use A− / A+ to adjust text sizeA Christmas Song
So many presents, so little timeSanta won't be comingBy my house this year'Cause I tried to drown my sisterAnd I pierced my earOh mama made it perfectly clearSanta don't like bad boysEspecially Jewish onesSkanif-kanof and Lego blocksAre what I desireSo, why'd I have to setThe pizza guy's hair on fireI told him I was sorry, I'm a liarSo, no toys for meI don't deserve 'emI couldn't wait for a big wheelAs the holiday nearedBut then I told my grandmaThat she had a beard(speaking) Dear Santa,I know what my problem isWhy I can't be goodIt's a fear of intimacyYou see, my whole lifeWhenever I've met someonereally great like you and,I keep feelingI'm getting too close to themSomething inside meMakes me want to screw it upSo in a weird wayThe reason I'm so bad is becauseI love you so much SantaRock 'em, Sock 'em robotsIs what I was hopin' forBut then I made a death threatTo Vice President GoreOh Santa won't be knockin' on my door'Cause he's a big fat whoreWhat made me say that!?Chutes and LaddersWould be so good indeedSo why's I have to sellThat cop a bag of weedSo Santa please give meMy Easy Bake OvenI swear I thought Billy goatsWere made for lovin'So Santa won't youAccept my appoligiesSanta can't you seeI'm beggin' you pleaseOh Santa, next yearI'll do you rightLive from New YorkIt's Saturday Night
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